A Lesson in Forgiveness

Through a very random encounter, I realized how hard and painful it is to forgive when you don’t want to, but how damn liberating it is to actually do so.

Suddenly, a connection floated on the surface: I lacked the ability to forgive in my life partially because I was never forgiven by those who mattered the most to me for such stupid mistakes I made ages ago.

To feel unforgiven was an invisible load of guilt carried day in and day out, regardless of all the logical explanations of why I should just try to forget.

I couldn’t forgive because I couldn’t grant what I didn’t have in me- what I was told repeatedly that I was “undeserving” of.

But today when I was received with such unexpected unconditional understanding and support from someone who couldn’t possibly owe me that, and for a move that I had no right to make, something so forceful moved inside me.

And it’s only now that Wayne Dyer’s “to be right or to be kind?” yields the right answer in me. It’s only now that I truly “let go” of this poisonous load, especially towards those who chose not to forgive me in the first place.